• Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • HOME
  • Breaking News
  • Sh*t Anti-Gunners Say
  • Guns Save Lives
  • Smells Like Infringement
  • 2A’s Lighter Side
  • Free Deals

Freedom's Lodge

You are here: Home / 2A's Lighter Side / No Duh: NICS Checks Set New May Record & Other Revelations

No Duh: NICS Checks Set New May Record & Other Revelations

June 9, 2020 By Trace Munson

Latest reports from the front indicate that water still wet, sky still blue…DEVELOPING…

For the third month in a row, FBI NICS checks–gun sales and transfers–set records. Can’t imagine why!

Here’s a piece of news that broke like the wind in every gun-grabber’s e-mail inbox yesterday morning: This past May beat all previous May records for gun sales. It’s the third-largest month for gun sales of all time, and according to this article courtesy of NRA-ILA, “The NICS office has already run nearly 54 percent of the checks it ran in total last year, and we haven’t reached the traditional hunting season, election-season, and holiday sales spikes.”

Now, as you Freedom’s Lodge readers well know, there are lies, damned lies, and statistics…so let’s unpack what that statistic means: In May 2020 alone, the FBI completed 3,091,455 background checks. That represents a NICS check for one percent of the American population in a single month. And, as you Freedom’s Lodge readers are no doubt saying right now, “No duh.”

As it turns out, to the gun-grabbers’ absolute shock, opening up the jails at the same time that you’re closing the gun stores tends to cause panic buying. I don’t know what they thought was going to happen–homeowners setting all their prized possessions out on their lawns to make it easier on the newly released inmates, maybe–but anti-gunners were clearly confused. That’s why, today, I’m setting the record straight on a number of other issues so it won’t be such a terrible shock to the antis when the June 2020 NICS numbers smash all previous records like the Hulk on PCP.

Tv Land GIF by YoungerTV - Find & Share on GIPHY

1. When rioters are burning down city squares and invading homes, people buy guns.

I know, Creepy Uncle Joe Biden, it doesn’t make any sense to you–after all, everyone who’s anyone already has 24-hour Secret Service protection, so why would news about riots make people go out and buy guns? But I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Joey: There are 300 million Americans who don’t have round-the-clock bodyguards. Oddly, they all still have this weird idea that their lives are as important as yours. Nutty, right?

Love Simon Movie GIF by Vertigo Releasing - Find & Share on GIPHY

2. When the news media claims that rioters are not burning down city squares when, in fact, they are, people buy even more guns.

I know, Mike Bloomberg, it’s so weird that people are starting to suspect that the news outlets you own are not telling the truth about what’s going on in America right now. I mean, look at all those peaceful protests. You’ve said they were peaceful, so why aren’t people believing you? (Maybe it’s because they can still smell the smoke. You should ban cigarettes.)

But the upshot is that, strange and mysterious though it may seem, when people have to read the headlines on the one newspaper the looters didn’t set on fire, they tend to disbelieve those headlines. And–this is gonna blow your mind, Bloomie–when people start paying attention to their lying eyes instead of what you’re telling them, they tend to start making other decisions you don’t like. Like buying even more guns.

Tim And Eric Mind Blown GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

3. When you get rid of the police, people will be their own police (and they will buy lots of guns).

The City of Minneapolis just announced that they’re going to be dismantling their police force soon. What a galaxy-brain idea! In the midst of rioting, looting, vandalism and home invasions, against a backdrop of having already opened up the jails so the prisoners don’t spread COVID-19…they’re going to turn law enforcement over to “the community.” I’ve got a little secret for you, gun-banners: When you turn law enforcement over to the community, the community is going to start doing its own law enforcement. (I know! Crazy, right?) This is what you used to call “vigilantism” three days ago, but that’s okay because we have always been at war with Eastasia.

Now, what’s really bizarre here is that when you tell a community that they will no longer have anyone to call if someone is breaking into their home, they go out and (I know, this is crazy, but bear with me here) buy guns. Lots of guns. But don’t worry…you can always call Moms Demand Hot, Hot Action to go give these new gun-owners some much-needed safety training!

Moms demand prosthetic hands.

 

Trace Munson

Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.

Filed Under: 2A's Lighter Side Tagged With: Anti-gunners, FBI, Gun grabbers, Gun laws, Gun rights, humor, no duh, NRA-ILA, record NICS checks, satire, Trace Munson

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. ROBERT says

    June 11, 2020 at 11:10 am

    Interesting. I’m never going to go inside a Bass Pro again.
    In Maryland, a HQL (Handgun Qualification License) is required to buy a handgun. [B.T.W., I have one as well as a carry permit]
    I purchased a small .380 for use in training classes, showed my I.D., and all needed papers, paid for the gun, and waited the MANDATORY 7 day waiting period.
    When I returned the following week to pick up my gun, they wouldn’t let me have it because I left my HQL at home (70 mile round trip).
    They acknowledged I had presented it once already (all that’s required by law), but that was not good enough for them.
    NOT ONLY THAT, they INSISTED that I MUST spend another $20.00 for a BARREL LOCK. [It made no difference that I already had my own and was willing to use it.]
    I then refused to drive another 70 miles to retrieve my HQL. I just told them I wanted my money back. ——– I got my refund, but not without being shouted at and threatened by the assh**e behind the counter.
    So, I DEFINITELY feel your pain on that Mossberg 500.
    P.S. I have 2 Mossberg 500’s I use for training. They are great guns.

  2. KimberproSS says

    June 11, 2020 at 10:47 am

    Buckshot in the first two rounds bird shot in the next one to send a braile message out to the other members of the group interested in entering.

  3. Johnny Guttry says

    June 11, 2020 at 10:37 am

    i have enough firearms and ammo to last a very long time,have been shooting all my life an i will not tolarate looting on buglars.Fast way to hell if you do.

  4. Darryl G Nelson says

    June 11, 2020 at 9:47 am

    Ordered and paid for a Mossberg 500 online.
    Went to the local Sportsman’s Warehouse and stood in line all freaking day, I was there over 8 hours. I was put on delay by NICS, 30 days later Sportsman’s Warehouse calls and says I’ll have to come back in and submit a new check. I told them I’d never set foot in thier stores again and that I want a refund.
    They tried to tell me there is a 20% fee for restocking returns, I say it’s not a return cuz I never had possession of the firearm. They hemmed and hawed, but they refunded 100% in the end.

    • Trace Munson says

      June 11, 2020 at 11:20 am

      Maybe Dick’s is rubbing off on them!

      • Byron says

        June 12, 2020 at 12:09 pm

        Sounds like it, Dick’s definitely made an appropriate choice when they chose the name the store.

  5. Wilbur Dowd says

    June 11, 2020 at 9:42 am

    My commentary to the reporters after someone breaks into my home would sound something like this….. “I fired two warning shots directly into his head!”

    • Clark Kent says

      June 11, 2020 at 11:12 am

      Expect lots of jail time after that comment. NEVER talk to the media after a shooting.

  6. Gernie G. Dixon says

    June 11, 2020 at 9:41 am

    All I will say is this. If you come for my guns you better bring yours. Because in Oklahoma we have all the guns we need to stop the gun grabbers. Matter of fact they should bring shovels. Cause I will not dig a grave! Buzzards have to eat, as do worms! So please come get you some!!

  7. Murdock says

    June 11, 2020 at 9:39 am

    Arm yourselves and form militias now. The second civil war has already started, it’s way past time to take up arms and fight back. The law has abandoned the people, antifa has claimed territory and started destroying and beheading statues just like isis.

    • jrkmt1 says

      June 11, 2020 at 12:51 pm

      The law hasn’t abandoned us. The politicians have told the law to stand down.

  8. Franco Hensley says

    June 9, 2020 at 9:36 am

    Shotguns loaded with a .50 cal steel ball and six 00 buckshot will stop any intruder and the one behind them. So go ahead and force your way into this old man’s home. I don’t give warning shots and I do not have to try to arrest you first. You enter as an unwelcomed undocumented guest and you will die on the spot. So, since the Ranges have been closed, I could use some target practice and I’ll deal with the paperwork too. God will help speed you on your way to Hell when you attack me or my neighbors. Have a nice day planning your next home invasion.

    • JOHN R WITTEMAN says

      June 11, 2020 at 9:46 am

      well said and good info..

  9. randy bauer says

    June 9, 2020 at 8:03 am

    Oddly, firearm sales aren’t very much different here in N.E.Ohio lately. Perhaps that’s because we already have guns. Where I live, gunshots sound nearly every day. We call it the sound of freedom. So rioters, if you want some practice running for your lives, come to Kinsman. We’ll help!

Primary Sidebar

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr

Newsletter Sign Up

Footer

GO SHOPPING

  • Popular Outdoorsman

OTHER GREAT SITES

  • Guns & Gadgets Daily
  • Popular Everyday Carry

RESOURCES

  • Best Outdoor Gear
  • Hunting Tips
  • Survival Skills
  • Camping Tips
  • Hunting Safety

ABOUT US

  • About Us
  • Contribute to Freedom’s Lodge
  • Advertise with us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service

Copyright © 2021 Brand Avalanche Media, LLC.


Freedom's Lodge is a wholly owned subsidiary of Brand Avalanche Media, LLC. This copyrighted material may not be republished without express permission. The information presented here is for general educational purposes only. MATERIAL CONNECTION DISCLOSURE: You should assume that this website has an affiliate relationship and/or another material connection to the persons or businesses mentioned in or linked to from this page and may receive commissions from purchases you make on subsequent web sites. You should not rely solely on information contained in this email to evaluate the product or service being endorsed. Always exercise due diligence before purchasing any product or service. This website contains advertisements.