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Sh*t Anti-Gunners Say




With apologies to Grandpa Simpson.

Paging Dr. Jill Biden: Code Brown. Repeat, this is a Code Brown.

Isn’t it wonderful when the metaphorical truth and the literal truth come together for a single, diamond-hard moment of pure intellectual joy? That’s what happened at the State of the Union address last week, when both ends of Joe Biden’s alimentary canal opened and gave voice–into a microphone, and also into his Pampers. The mainstream media insisted on calling the speech “fiery,” which I think is a nice way to refer to sundowning, don’t you? Of course, Biden isn’t capable of writing a speech like that anymore–if he ever was–but whoever did write it clearly prefaced their efforts with a bucket of beans and a big glass of prune juice. For all the details, we’re turning it over to the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms!



Near the end of his extremely partisan State of the Union address, President Joe Biden declared his vision for the future to “restore the right to choose and protect other freedoms, not take them away,” but that obviously doesn’t include choosing to own firearms, the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms stated in response.

“Joe Biden told that fib several minutes after demanding a ban on an entire class of firearms, which happen to be in common use across the country,” said CCRKBA Chairman Alan Gottlieb. “He claimed that his lifetime has taught him to embrace freedom and democracy, but that obviously doesn’t include the freedom to keep and bear arms.

“He boasted about creating an office of ‘gun violence prevention,’ which translates to the first-ever White House office of gun control and citizen disarmament,” the veteran gun rights advocate noted. “It’s a thinly-disguised mini-bureaucracy whose only possible function is to lobby for more restrictive gun laws.

“He claims that banning guns doesn’t violate the Second Amendment or vilify responsible gun owners,” Gottlieb continued. “The hell it doesn’t. Millions of honest American men and women of all races and political backgrounds have already embraced the freedom to choose what constitutionally-protected firearms they want to responsibly own, and along comes Biden with a demand that those arms be banned.

“This president vilifies gun owners every time he demands new restrictions on Second Amendment rights because he’s literally telling a hundred-million citizens he doesn’t trust them,” he observed. “He claimed his lifetime has taught him to respect everyone, but he obviously doesn’t mean America’s gun owners, because his entire political career has focused on disrespecting their rights, banning the guns they own and diminishing their freedom.

“President Biden has a history of telling whoppers,” Gottlieb stated, “and his State of the Union campaign speech certainly held to that tradition where gun rights are concerned. He may have fooled Democrats in Congress and his media cheerleaders, but he didn’t fool American gun owners.”

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