4 Guns I Promise Not to Grab, by Ima Nidiot
Ima is a gun-grabbing guest contributor to Freedom’s Lodge, and a friend of our regular columnist Trace Munson. She occasionally gives us insight from the anti-gun side of the aisle, in an effort to help bring us all together (and maybe have a laugh or two).
It’s recently come to my attention that there are people out there who call me and folks like me “gun grabbers.” The sheer unmitigated gall of them to act as if I want to take their guns away—that’s just asinine, and I’m even more offended than usual! All I’m asking for are some simple, common-sense safety laws that won’t be the slightest inconvenience or infringe on your precious “right” to own one. I’m sure you’ll agree as soon as you see this itty-bitty list of guns that just aren’t the sort of thing a sensible person should be allowed to have. In short, no, dummy, I don’t want to take your guns away. Just these four:
1) AR-15s
The key reason for why I want to take this gun away from you is right in the name. That “AR” stands for Assault Rifle, this I know, for Dianne Feinstein tells me so! Their only possible use is for assaulting people, so that’s why they’re named that. These terrifying Murder Machines look like the guns soldiers carry into battle, and of course we all know that only soldiers and law enforcement are qualified enough for a thing like that. (See, here are some professional soldiers displaying their mastery). I am a bit peeved that one of them seems to have stolen my ride to work, though.
2) Guns That Are Too Big
Every so often I hear someone on the news say “high-powered rifle,” and I have to buy new underwear every time, which is getting super expensive. I don’t really know what “high-powered” means, but I know for a fact that you don’t need one to hunt deer! Not that you should be hunting deer anyway—meat comes from the store, not endangered animals like whitetail deer. So those will just have to go!
3) Guns That Are Too Small
Guns that are too small are called “pocket rockets” because if you put one in your pocket, it’ll rocket you right into wanton, wholesale murder, and that’s a scientific fact. It’s sort of like homeopathy: The smaller the gun, the stronger its influence over your mind. Also, small guns seem like maybe they’re for women to use, and I think you already know how I feel about that.
4) Guns That Are Too Cheap
Cheap guns are called “Saturday Night Specials,” because people buy them on Saturday nights and then use them for murder and mayhem. That’s why I want to take them away, and not because I’m worried that The Poors might get the idea that they have the same rights I do. And it most certainly isn’t because the history of Common Sense Gun Control ™ began with outlawing inexpensive guns specifically to keep them out of the hands of freed slaves. Too bad, so sad—no more bargain guns for you!
See? I don’t want to take away your guns, and the fact that you keep saying so is proof that you’re paranoid and antisocial and probably shouldn’t be allowed to own one. Now that we’ve cleared that up: Mr. and Mrs. America, turn them all in!
First lets get it straight, AR does not stand for assault riffle . It is ArmaLite Rifle , 15 is the model number, it fires a 223/5.56″ caliber round. This is a mid power round and not as bad as it is made out be. My .308 hunting rifle if far more powerful and is one of the most popular hunting rounds in my area, This is just a fun gun to shoot. Check the FBI data and you will find that it is not used in crimes that much. Fast cars, no seat belts, DWI’s, baseball bats, hammers and knives kill moor humans than AR15’s do. Also abortions take tens of thousand’s lives a day , so lets’ stop them.
AR stands for Armalite Rifle. Made by the Armalite company.
Not all Democrats are anti-gun and yet all anti-guners are Democrats. So, we’ll be known by the company we keep.
Want mine? COME AND GET IT!
Well as a moderate Democrat, I don’t want to take anyone’s guns away. And even I know that AR stands for Armalite. Having spent 20 years in the Air Force and during my yearly firing/cleaning my M-16, I learned to appreciate that sweet weapon. I am still trying to convince the old lady to let me have an AR-15 (She is a little more to the left than I am). She did say I could buy a 9 mms or a 10-22. Unfortunately I am stuck at home during this pandemic, but as soon as they give the all clear, I will probably buy both. I do have my handy .22 air rifle. Any way the reason I write is to let you know that not all Democrats are anti-gun.
Just the Democommies who you vote for are anti-gun! If you’re really interested in owning a firearm you should not vote for a Democratic Party member.
Ruger mini-14. Not a scary black gun!
My brother had a friend who was “on board” for outlawing AR-15s. My brother then pointed out that the Mini-14 the friend owned fired the same round, had the same ability and availability of “high capacity” magazines, and the ONLY difference was the appearance. His friend decided maybe the AR-15 was OK after all. Although, another friend had a Mini-14 all “dressed up” with “tactical” furniture, making it look just as scary as the nasty AR-15! Me? I’m a AK kinda guy, just love the reliability and larger caliber bullet. Different strokes, for different folks!
First ask the boss if you can grow a pair and get rid of your skirt. Then see reality ,there are no moderate Democraps, and start voting for AMERICA and not it’s destruction
I do so hope you guys realize this is satire, and not an actual opinion! I mean come on, Ima Nidiot, I’m an idiot! You guys are reacting like this is a real gun grabber piece!
Of course we know that but there are people out there who think like that. Then there are the semi literate “leaders”, like Nancy, who actually know better but say things like that anyway. They are the dangerous ones.
First off it is the Bill of GOD Given Rights as the Founders all said not the Bill of Needs. And so of the educated gun grabbing idiots need to understand God Given Rights No Person shall Infringe Upon. That means any law hindering a person’s GOD Given Rights under the Bill Of Rights is illegal and just might be treasonous. Secondly the AR Platform is the natural evolution of the American Sporting Arm. All sporting arms began as military arms and have over the centuries been modified to suit the needs of the American Sporting Shooters.
Is Ima Nidiot Beto’s nickname? Ha.
This has to be tongue in cheek, starting right from the alleged contributor’s name.
This made me laugh, especially the pseudonym of the author ( Im aN idiot) starting it off. I unfortunately live in Virginia where our governor has used this COVID-19 shut down to run some truly crazy restrictions through as law, like the one gun a month law. My wife and I are now considering moving from here to get away from the stupid that has spread like the Coronavirus among the voters here. The movie Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a “how to” guide but sure sums up today’s people. Thanks again for the laugh, needed it.
If Northern Virginia, NOVA to those who happen to live in Virginia, would simply secede and become part of DC or Maryland, perhaps we would stop electing the idiots who actually think (I use the term facetiously) believe Ima Nidiot … we could return to rationality in our governor’s office and legislature…. and U.S. Senators and Representatives.
Maryland is far worse on “gun rights”.
You need permission from the “state” and you can only purchase a “gun” from the state firearms approval list.
Many items have been used through out Man kinds history to injure, maim, or murder some poor soul or souls. From a rock or tree branch to a vehicle, pistol, or a high powered rifle. That includes bow and arrows, scissors, ice picks and screw drivers. The irony the gun grabbers can’t grasp is that the gun is the best defense against any of the items mentioned above. Be you frail or strong, swift or wheel chair bound, a gun will protect you from harm at a distance.
My concealed carry permit is almost useless in my home state. Most of the places that mass shootings have occurred have been designated as gun free zones. Criminals pay no attention to such laws leaving honest citizens vulnerable to harm with no defense other than run or hide, These same so called leaders are now caving to the demands of Anarchists that are Hell bent on destroying our country and the Freedoms we have enjoyed for so long. It’s time to vote them all out of office.
If I am not mistaken this articular is written in the view of someone like Joe Biden. This is to show you how gun grabbers think!
The second amendment means what it says- we citizens have a RIGHT to own and possess firearms. When that Ima ignoramus placed quotation marks around the word right, i.e. “right”, she/he/it waved her/his/its ignorance flag. Typical moronic display.
Well you can readily see she does not know her butt from a hole in the ground…AR in the AR-15 does NOT stand for assault riffle……..she is as dumb as a buckaet of rocks about guns and her this idiot is trying to tell people what they can and cannot have , which they possess leagaly…… TOTALLY DUMB !!!
I agree, she does not know or understand what the 2nd is for, and surely does not know how much we need to protect ourselves from people like her and the types of Governments they expose us to.
It is these reasons why people with your views will only allow criminals to own guns. Criminals don’t care about laws. Laws turn us into victims. The laws of this country have no teeth any more and no longer act as a deterrent. Most criminals wear their convictions like a badge of honor. Laws are meant to get justice for the victim, but if you are dead, then what good did that law do for you. As far as those laws stopping criminals from owning them, how are the laws working in the drug wars. Class 1 narcotics are banned (as anti-gun advocates are trying to do with guns).You absolutely can’t make, own,, sell or distribute and yet in almost every square mile in the country you can find at least one drug dealer and at least twice as many abusers. You say we don’t need ARs but that is incorrect. The only way to possibly effectively defend oneself is to have firepower that at least equals the possible fire power that a criminal may present. This is known as a little concept known as detterence. Active shooters dont attack police stations. If you have a no carry zone, such as a school,, then you are giving someone a soft target. However, if you allow at least the staff to carry, then you may give that attacker at least pause to stop and ponder their possibility of failure.. You don’t bring a feather to a gun fight. Also on a more vane point of view, how about they stop making Ferrari’s or Lamborghini’s and only produce cars that are plain and can only go the speed limit. The last thing I’d like to say, how about we tackle the real causes of gun violence. Mental health, ignorance, and poverty. If we would only pay attention to each other and give a damn when someone may be struggling with mental illness,, or teaching safe gun handling vs teaching GUN=BAD. As far as poverty,, how about the government & corporate America concentrate on giving low income areas real opportunities at success, than deludung them. I guess its easier and less expensive to outlaw the tool rather than fixing the real issues, like a bandaid. Then when something happens and that bandaid gets ripped off, it stings for a bit, then we apply that same bandaid again.
“That “AR” stands for Assault Rifle, this I know, for Dianne Feinstein tells me so!” You listened to some one that needs pictures drawn in crayons to tell you that AR is for assault rifle when she did no research what so ever on the subject. AR stands for Armalite Rifle which was the name of the manufacturer. The number 15 after the AR is the model number. As to the “high-powered rifle” that is what you need to put down deer, elk or other large game since a low powered rifle like a 22 cal isnt going to do it. That “high-powered rifle” is just about any thing over a 22 cal any how. Maybe you need to learn some thing about firearms before voicing your opinion on subjects you have no clue on. As to “common sense gun control” there is no such thing as there is no such thing as common sense as that means every one in the world would have been born with the same knowledge, that only leaves applied knowledge which refers to knowledge of items being applied. Suggest you get some knowledge on the subject of firearms first before ranting on a subject you and just about every other anti gunner have no clue on. As to Dianne Feinstein I wouldnt trust her with any thing dangerous like scissors to start with.
If we gave Irma and Diane and their fellow gun grabber supporters IQ tests based on the some standards and principles as currently apply for COVID 19 I’m sure we would see the percentage of our population classified as stupid would increase dramatically. Maybe self isolation should be imposed on them to keep them safe and protect themselves.
This would be funny if it all wasn’t so true. This is the way that anyone that wants to take our guns away and destroy the 2A thinks and they are the delusional and mentally ill ones, not us.
Phil in TX
If I am not mistaken, the AR in the rifles name stands for Armalite, the original manufacture and not Assault Rifle.as stated.
brilliant, Einstein.
And she wonders why we call them gun grabbers? That list covers every gun there is. What is a cheap gun or what is to big of a gun? She is a far leftest, no doubt! And she only wants to take those four guns? She’s a complete moron!