Not all “gun gurus” are created equal.
You’re a nice person. You don’t want to make too many assumptions about people, and you want to be polite. The problem is that you’re looking for gun training…and there are an awful lot of people out there competing for your money. What’s more, when it comes to firearms training, there’s a lot more at stake if things go wrong than having a little too much month left at the end of your money. So here are four signs to tip you off that that so-called “expert” might just be so full of it he squeaks going into a turn.
1) I’d Hate to Think Where Else That Finger’s Been
Go to Google, type in their name, and click “images.” If any of the results display said guru in the process of holstering, unholstering, or otherwise handling his firearm in any situation other than actively shooting…with his finger on the trigger? Run, don’t walk, away from this person and anything he has to say. It might be a good idea to do so in a zigzag pattern.
2) All Hat, No Cow
“All hat, no cow,” in case you haven’t heard this particular idiom, refers to someone who styles himself as a cowboy without ever setting a single (shockingly expensive, stingray leather) boot in a barn. If your gun guru has a slick website chock-full of beautiful photography depicting beautiful people sweating artfully over blued steel…but no actual course descriptions or curricula…well, you might want to gitalong.
3) Big Boy Drools
If any single phrase, when uttered by a self-styled gun expert, should cause any among your various sphincters to pucker, that phrase should be “Big-Boy Rules.” The translation for that phrase is as follows: “I do unsafe things with firearms and will tell anyone who isn’t comfortable with that that the problem is theirs, not mine.” It’s right up there with “Here, hold my beer,” and “Check this out, Cletus,” in the Famous Last Words Museum.
4) Those Who Can, Do…
…and those who can’t, teach. It’s a snide thing to say about teachers, and I’m a big fan of snide, but the fact of the matter is that the ability to do a thing and the ability to teach others to do that thing are two entirely different matters. If you’re seeking instruction, which do you care about more: Just how tiny your instructor’s groups are, or whether or not he can teach you to do the same? If this person’s marketing focuses more on his badassery than on the glowing reviews of happy students…you should think about letting him go on and do his thing. Without you.
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.