Be Vewy Vewy Quiet: It’s Gun-Grabbing Season!
“We’re not doing guns…but we can do cartoony violence, TNT, the Acme stuff…”
Do you have fond childhood memories of waking early on a Saturday, pouring yourself a bowl full of tooth-melting cereal, and settling down in front of the TV to watch Elmer Fudd chase Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck from Wabbit Season to Duck Season? If so, it’s time to repent of your thoughtcrime, because there’s a reboot of those old Looney ‘Tunes coming down the pike…and there won’t be a double-barrel shotgun or a rootin’, tootin’, razzin’, frazzin’ revolver to be seen. That’s because, as one of the show’s creators told the Washington Times in that linked article, “We’re going through this wave of anti-bullying, everybody needs to be friends, everybody needs to get along.” Of course, this revolutionary strategy to ensure that today’s kids grow up not knowing what guns are…has totally worked!
The author feels a transformation coming on…His cargo shorts and camouflage t-shirt turn into a top hat and tails…a microphone descends from above…balloons and ticker tape spontaneously erupt out of the sky…now the author’s on a unicycle…somewhere, calliope music begins to play as a spotlight hits Trace…
That’s right! Step right up folks, have a gander, have a peek! The gun grabbers have spent the last 80 years saying that cartoon guns cause real-life violence 999,999 times and their patience has finally paid off! The millionth time was the charm–do we have our winner here in the audience today? Sure enough, there they are…
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the personification of gun control, Karen. By removing cartoon guns from the hands of a cartoon hunter and a cartoon prospector, she has ensured the safety of children everywhere, forever! According to the Washington Times, “Viewers can look forward to seeing the classic toon weapons like dynamite and booby traps, but gone are Elmer Fudd’s shotgun and Yosemite Sam’s revolvers…”
Yes, that’s right, Second Amendment supporters, it’s all over for us now that children will grow up never having seen Elmer Fudd’s shotgun getting bent around into a “c” shape so when he pulls the trigger it blows his hat off and turns his face sooty. These days, Elmer’s hunting Bugs with a scythe, because that’s what hunters do, and also because there’s nothing creepy or violent about a scythe.
Some folks as calls it a Kaiser blade. I calls it a sling blade, mmhmm.
Yes indeedy, my bitter gun-clinging friends, with this one stroke of Elmer Fudd’s mighty scythe, Karen has ended the human propensity towards violence completely! Now that the Looney Tunes characters are relegated to blowing one another up with TNT, we can all link hands and sing Kum-Ba-Yah. After all, the worst massacres in American history weren’t accomplished with bombs or anything. As it turns out, the hoplophobes were right all along, and taking the revolvers out of Yosemite Sam’s holsters will prevent children from ever knowing what a gun is or wanting to play with a toy one.
The author spins around on his unicycle as the ticker tape raining down from above transforms into Facebook “likes.” As the little cartoon thumbs-up hands land on his top hat, a bottle of soy milk appears in one hand and a set of pinking shears in the other (because scythes promote violence and we need to remove them from children’s entertainment now).
Yes, Karen, thank you for showing us all the way to a gun-free utopia! But I’m a little worried; those kids are eating cereal that has sugar in it. As we all know, sugar causes violence in very much the same way that guns do. Can someone get Bloomberg on the horn and see if we can get Lucky Charms banned right along with 20-ounce sodas and pate de foie gras? Or at least install some very sensible sugar control laws? I’m thinking registration, licensing, and home inspection to ensure proper storage away from vulnerable children, how ’bout you?
Readers, now is the time to band together and finally erase the problem of human-on-human violence once and for all–can you think of any other popular children’s entertainment that should be thoughtcrimed out of existence? Tell us in the comments!
I cannot believe the lengths these gun grabbers will go to… from erasing guns from cartoons to erasing history by hiding statues of the Confederacy!!! … what’s next??… no squirt guns ?… cause water can drown ya ??
If we could just somehow find a way to ban all of the over-sensitive, socialist, libtard pu55ies that inflict their insanity on this republic. The rule should be: if you have no spine, get the hell out! Find your utopia elsewhere because it’ll never be here! When the feces eventually hits the fan and the Soros funded cannon-fodder (ANTIFA) steps over the line, the real firearms are gonna come out, whether Elmer Fudd has his shotgun or not. Then the kiddies are going to see some real shooting! It might be good to just let them be kids until that regrettable day happens – because it’s gonna happen… and those in favor of the U.S. becoming a third-world socialist 5hit-hole, better git while the gittin’s good or arm up, because the way thing’s look today (06/12/2020), it ain’t gonna be very long.
Sorry, my friends, this all started back in the ’70s when WB was told they had to delete Wile E. Coyote,s impacts from cliff falls to keep from traumatizing children! Now the “Deep State” has gotten deeper into bed with the anti-gun crazies to raise an entirely new generation of docile little automatons to blindly follow “The Leader” into whatever controlled society he has in mind for us after the United States becomes the Orwellian Utopia (for them anyway) the Elitists are planning!
Stupidity knows no bounds. They can shove their modern version, my grandchildren will NOT be watching their BS here.
Well, according to the logic used by these useful idiots, I guess we need to say goodby to Popeye also. While he did encourage kids to eat spinach, he would definitely be called a bully by the PC crowd. Can we PLEASE have our sane, rational America back?
Well we all knew this idiocy was coming. The gun grabber Leftists have been ranting incessantly for decades and since they can’t get all our real guns after nearly a century, they are now going after the cartoon ones so as to start the mind washing of our children before they know any better.
Their plan is maybe they can get our real guns when enough mind washed children become adults in 20 or so years. If you can not see this as their end game you need glasses, big thick soda bottle lensed Velma Dinkley strength glasses.
It must be terrible to go through life as a whiny baby. To wake up every morning looking to be offended in order to make everybody else as miserable as possible- – for their own good of course. Nobody should be allowed to enjoy life.
[W3]
Don’t worry Woody, I don’t. I started to enjoy life once but luckily they reminded me quickly of its dangers, in fact, I shouldn’t even be on a site that uses the word gun without the word restriction or control nearby to keep us safe from it. I was never here… I have to go
I don’t think cartoon guns cause, well anything, and I don’t think video games cause violence either. But, seriously…
It has nothing to do with the cartoon violence. These people dont care about that, it is all about indoctrination of the next generation, to be sheep and believe that your freedoms flow from the state!
Its time to fight back at these insane people, (did I say people, I don’t think they are normal people) Every time you see a idiot write something stupid and not a lick of common sense,, then it is time to let them know how they are utterly nuts. Too much time are their hands,, maybe they need to go to work like normal people and stay out of our hair or we will get into their hair big time. Funny when I was growing up in the 40’s and 50’s we never had any of these problems. It all started when the commie liberals took over the public education system. That is where to start stopping these idiots, take back the education system and make it conservative again.
Back in the sixties, my Dad, who was Executive Officer of the NY State selective service system (draft) told me one of the biggest mistakes our country ever made was allowing the draft exemption for education. He said it resulted in a huge influx of commie liberals into the education system to avoid the draft during the Vietnam War. He said that put them in the best place they could be to destroy the nation by putting them where they could indoctrinate the coming generations with their totalitarian anti-liberty crap. You really nailed that one! Rest in peace, Dad.
Surely the entomologist are going to get on this bandwagon with Elmer killing harmless bugs. You know there are harmless helpful bugs, like the Lady Bug that feeds on the Boll Weevil eggs that hatch and destroy cotton crops. Now the cartoonist is going to have to take a night school course to determine the good bugs that Elmer can’t kill and the bad bugs he needs to kill so his cartoon drawings don’t give children false impressions. There needs to be sanity tests for gun grabbers, they are so far out in left field they can’t even see home plate. When is someone going to stand up and tell these idiots to buss off?
For the love of god……. NOW cartoons as well, holy crap does any one have a lick of common sense any more? That in its self scares the hell out of me!!!
I think it’s going to take more than praying although it can’t hurt
Pray.