This is what it looks like when Poe’s Law becomes a Real Law.
Grab a cup of joe, eh, and settle in, Freedom’s Lodge readers, because the Canadian anti-gunners have outdone themselves this time by banning Black Rifle Coffee (by name) from their shores. Yes, this really happened and no, it’s not a Trace Munson parody column.
You could be forgiven for thinking it was, since this is the most perfect illustration of Poe’s Law I’ve seen to date. If you’re not familiar, “Poe’s law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author’s intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the views being parodied.” Eh?
So, what’s happened here is what always happens when your country has neither a Second Amendment, nor any actual adults in charge of legislation. A few weeks ago, the giant frozen gun-free zone that is Canada had a horrible tragedy. This horrible tragedy happened despite the fact that Canada has European-style “gun control” laws that severely limit what types of firearms Canadians can own, because–as we know here south of the border–criminals don’t care about gun laws. (It’s sort of baked into the definition of “criminal,” eh?) Then, as night follows day, the anti-gunners used that tragedy to pass a swath of knee-jerk, ill-planned, ignorant laws that banned things like…Black Rifle Coffee. Eh?
It’s Poe’s Law become a Real Law. Now, the adage is that it’s going to be impossible for me to exaggerate the anti-gun activities of our neighbors to the North in a way that won’t fool at least a few people into thinking I’m serious.
As a public service to Justin Trudeau and any other gun-grabbers out there, I would like to make a Modest Proposal. You may have just saved yourselves from the double-barrel 100-round clips of caffeine found in Black Rifle Coffee…but did you know that there are other dangers lurking around literally every Canadian corner and along the sides of the Only Road? Grab your crayons and your ban-hammer, Canada, because your work isn’t done yet!
Every home is rife with thousands of these deadly weapons!
Canada, even your lunch isn’t safe!
If abandoning dental hygiene saves JUST ONE LIFE it’ll all be worth it, eh?
Whew! We banned those horrid toothbrushes. Now we’re safe…
Do you, Freedom’s Lodge readers, have any ideas for more things that Canada ought to ban right now? You should probably post them in the comments to help Justin Trudeau make Canada truly safe. After all, he’s probably feeling a little sleepy and groggy right now without his coffee.
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.
John says
An examination of history will bear this out. Whenever a country takes away your firearms and other means of protection, it’s because they’re planning to do something you’d probably shoot them for.
Hekk says
Attachment
Would you BELIEVE I COULDN’T SHARE THIS ARTICLE on Facebook = *** ABUSIVE CONTENT ***
What UTTER BS !!
Charlie Hayes says
You just can’t make this s.hit up!
Mac says
HAAAAAAA YOUR SO RIGHT. MAX OF ( THANK GOD I LIVE IN) TEXAS.
Chuck says
That’s good, more for us. This is excellent coffee and this company does wonderful things for this country,
so support them by ordering some coffee.
Ken says
Poor poor Canada. Idiots folly They have undertaken . The criminals will always have the guns, cause if they don’t care about murder they certainly won’t care about some lowly gun law. Problem there and in New Zealand the amount of people who will comply and turn in their weapons is gonna be almost 0-2% at best. It Would be the same thing if they tried it here. There aren’t enough police in any country willing to take on that suicidal mission. I should know cause I’m an officer. Never gonna enforce it , or follow it if the Democrats ever get their way. I’m not alone in this feeling most cops aren’t supported by the Democrats anyway. The masters dog is preparing to turn on him. Gonna miss the cheese fries and gravy though
Kevin says
“Never gonna enforce it , or follow it if the Democrats ever get their way. I’m not alone in this feeling most cops aren’t supported by the Democrats anyway.”
Best read of the day. God bless!
jim says
if they [ ruling class ] can not trust people with black rifles or black coffee can, or should……the people put thier TRUST IN THEM … JUST SAYING thanks
Guy Blew says
Since our neighbors to the north want to be stupid about things and ban unrealistic things like coffee because of its name. Then they should also ban rocks, as in the Bible Genus is ch 4; we meet the first people born on earth Cain and Able. As you read about these two brothers, you find that a day when first fruits were to be sacrificed to.
Cain offered up, first fruits from all his gardens. Able offered up the born males of his flocks, and hearts.
Now God said to Cain that is offering was unacceptable, but he should offered up a sacrifice of blood as his brother. Cain became angry and jealous of his brother and killed him with a rock or tree branch.
So Canada should also ban having rocks and trees. In one yards ad they are assault weapons and someone could be killed with them.
Gus says
Because it’s SCARY BLACK ASSAULT COFFEE!
Douglas DiToro says
I wonder if the ban will hurt their big game hunting industry. Just wondering if we just keep our hunting down on the lower 48 plus Alaska. We could use the money down here instead of up there. We might even get some of their wild animals to migrate down here. Just wondering.
Alan says
Trudeau is a clone of the US democratic lot.
Uninformed, self interest , not the country or its citizens.
The banning of every thing seems to be the mantra of that lot, maybe Trudeau should adopt the donkey as the country’s symbol replacing the fig leaf. It is the symbol in the US of the donkey brigade.
What group in their right minds would adopt an ass for a symbol.
Quite fitting in this case.
Judy says
Exactly, the communists in Canada are just like U.S. liberals.
The people so willing to give up their rights, freedom, and have the government control ever area of their lives should move to North Korea, they don’t deserve to live in the U.S.
akoutlaw says
Black rifle company makes rifles, not coffee. A simple search is all it takes. Black rifle coffee company makes coffee… The details will get ya!
Robert m McFetridge says
I did a simple google search of Black rifle company and all that came up was Black Rifle Coffee Company
Sigo says
Keep searching.
http://blackrifle.com/
James Ellis says
That address is a gun store in Missouri. Not a gun maker.
Max says
HAAAAAAA,WHAAAAAAAAAA,HEREEEEEEEEEEEE,WHAAAAAAAAA.
IT’S SO UNBELIEVABLE.
WHO WANT TO LIVE IN CANADUH😭????????????????
K. Riley says
I guess they will ban BLACKEYED PEAS next. Oh stuff beginning with BLACK is SSSSOOOO DANGEROUS.
JonsOn says
Banning coffee because of it’s name is as bad as banning rifles because they have a scary looking pistol grip and an even scarier looking flash suppressor and let’s not forget about that scary collapsing stock. Oh so scary. If we ban anything let’s ban idiots who pass nonsensical laws just for their own sense of morality.
Bill says
Have they gotten around to banning the clubs used for baby Harp Seal killing, yet? I thought not.
Bob says
Canada is R-A-A-A-C-I-S-T!!! Prove to us Trudeau why you did this to the only coffee with Black in its brand name, or is this your way to bypass the new MACA trade agreement and express your anti-American aggressions. Canadian protectionism to give their hot cup of maple syrup sludge in the morning an edge over American made coffee and keep their Nationsl Health system cardiologists happy and in business, or is Trudeau just trying to keep Canada dependent on imports from outside the North American continent in the form of British socialist tea? So many unanswered questions, …eh?
Scott says
I would buy that coffee and not because it had the work BLACK in it. If it said WHITE in it u would again refer to it as being affiliated with a white supremacy group. Hell if that’s the case for anyone with a BLACK POWDER rifle, when u go into a store to order more powder ask for “WHITE POWDER” instead and see how they react. This world is so politically “INCORRECT”
Veteran says
Canada is R-A-A-A-C-I-S-T!!! Prove to us Trudeau why you did this to the only coffee with Black in its brand name, or is this your way to bypass the new MACA trade agreement and express your anti-American aggressions. Canadian protectionism to give their hot cup of maple syrup sludge in the morning an edge over American made coffee and keep their Nationsl Health system cardiologists happy and in business, or is Trudeau just trying to keep Canada dependent on imports from outside the North American continent in the form of British socialist tea? So many unanswered questions, …eh?
Johnny k Johnson says
no more crown royal for me all Leadslingers for me
Kelly Karshner says
I guess they had better ban :
clubs or baseball bats
stones and rocks
rope
cords
wire
all boards
and in Gods name, ban hands for the fear that someone will either beat or strangle someone to death.
GomeznSA says
KK – you forgot fire – as the murderer used arson to kill nearly half of his victims……………………………
Joel Rule says
What about BLACK _EYED SUSAN’S. I’m sure someone could be beaten with the flowers !! or BLACK BEAUTY the horse, now there is a real dangerous animal
Scott says
What about BLACK POWDER. Do we now call it WHITE POWDER
Ed Schrade says
I was told that black and white are not colors, they are neutrals. If so then you would have to ask for neutral powder or neutral rifle coffee.
Larry says
They should also ban magazine subscriptions. Every month a new magazine arrives in the mail. Is there a limit to the number of rounds these magazines will hold? How many magazines does a citizen need? Those with multiple subscriptions are getting far too many magazines each month. Legislation to limit the number of magazines needs action now.
Joseph Heintz says
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. The most lethal human failing is the combination of arrogance and ignorance.
Gary says
Well said sir..bravo!
Tommy R Walker says
Stealing this, I hope you don’t mind! Perfect!
Me says
I am all about getting a chuckle out of the Canadians but the Black Rifle Company BRC15B is a rifle not a coffee.
https://www.tactical-life.com/firearms/black-rifle-brc-556mm/
Donnie says
NTB
Robert G Mangold says
FUBAR!
Dan says
Soon, canada is going to have to import members for their military because thinking about defense will be outlawed. I wonder where they will get what they need…China?
Git says
Hmm we wonder why Canada acts like Eurooe… well this is because they are French owned by England under a Constitutional Monarchy with Parliament, How soon we all forget……
William Boltz says
Canada had better take a close look at what’s hiding in their kitchens. OMG!!! KNIVES AND BIG FORKS AND FRYING PANS AND PRESSURE COOKERS!!
Edward Orkwis says
All of these comments do not bother the Canadians,they couldn’t care less. It is time to send the message
that will get their attention,which is, No American sportsman going to Canada to hunt,fish or visit period..
This will also work here in the US ,if you support anti gun we will not support you with our dollars.
Chris Hager says
Yes sir….. plenty of places to hunt and fish in the USA anyways
Roland says
When I was younger I spent several spring breaks in Florida, and one thing was a constant comment heard from locals. It was that they didn’t care for Canadians or New Yorkers because they acted like animals. So maybe Trudeau knows his people better than we do.
Martin Boisvert says
But you have to admit,t, those UN baby blue helmets are not exactly camouflage.. 😉
I’m not quite sure what I meant by that, merely an observation, I suspect,
Martin Boisvert says
But you have to admit,, those UN baby blue helmets are not exactly camouflage.. 😉
I’m not quite sure what I meant by that, merely an observation, I suspect,
Devin Long says
Attachment
Battle Brief underwear. The “Tactical Lifestyle” their image may invoke could damage someone’s false sense of security
Trace Munson says
And the best part is that they’ll have a clean set of y-fronts ready for what’s going to happen to their own undies when they see the Battle Briefs.
Tennessee Hollar says
C Ay N Ay D Ay…………..a land composed of clones of Mr. Rogers.
Rodney Steward says
Canada like Europe feel prey to the UN that wants world gun control, the UN is the world enemy and the cover for the NWO !
David in MA says
Left leaning governments really fear former servicemember so they try every tactic to deny them a financial and social existence perhaps with the thought of distancing them from each other so there is no common bond for an uprising against a suppressive government?
Cliff says
If bill gates gets his way and the DEMOCOMMUNISTS make it “mandatory” for you to have an RFID “chip” implanted in your body (after you “receive’ his “vaccine”, they need people to be “social distanced” so they can TRACK your every move. The time is long overdue TO stand up, vote OUT any and ALL democommunists coming up for reelection, or expect to become the next CONTROLLED “subjects of the crown” to be used, abused, or ‘eliminated” if we refuse to kowtow to every “royal decree” the DEMOCOMMUNISTS can dream up.
OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE.