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Smells Like Infringement

Smells Like Infringement: War on Gun Stores Edition

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Oh yeah? Well the JERK store just called, and they’re all out of YOU!

Oh look, anti-gunners don’t like small, local businesses either. Shocker!

Gun banners have learned that most Americans don’t like the idea of making it illegal to purchase firearms, which clearly gives them a bad case of indigestion. It’s a tough onion to swallow for them. Rather than pop a Tums, they instead try to find new ways to release the uncomfortable pressure of knowing that their goals are tough to achieve through legislation. They’ve recently taken to doing the next best thing: Harassing and zoning gun-store owners out of business. After all, what does it matter if guns are legal, if would-be gun owners can’t find a place to buy one? Let’s not let them sneak one by us by blaming it on the dog–instead, let’s daub some Vicks Vapo-Rub under our noses and tell the gun-banners that what they’re doing sure smells like infringement. Today, we’ve got two stories about the latest air-biscuits the gun banners have tried to float (in a crowded elevator, no less)…and a bonus tale of one woman who seems to have “gambled and lost.”

1. No, no, that’s not malicious zoning. That was my shoe!

Our first tale of anti-gunners trying to eliminate small, local gun stores comes from, you guessed it, California. Although very little would shock us coming from that particular state, it’s still quite remarkable the extent to which the gun-banners were willing to go to limit Californians’ ability to purchase a gun. After a long series of lawsuits that were first upheld and then overturned, the state now allows localities to pass zoning laws that treat gun stores as if they were XXX adult stores. Do these people know that when 2A people talk about “gun porn,” we mean pictures of guns? (Well, that and the After Dark series here on GGD, heh heh.) Click here to get a whiff of how they did it.

2. No, no, that’s not a Kafka-esque restriction. I just microwaved broccoli!

Our second sad story of hoplophobia takes a turn for the bizarre with a much less sophisticated method of eliminating gun stores. In this one, New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy has just signed into law legislation that requires all gun stores to have available for purchase at least one smart gun. If you’re not familiar, “smart guns” ideally work off of biometric measurements–generally a fingerprint–to ensure that only the gun’s rightful owner can shoot it. There’s just one teeny-tiny little squeaker of a problem with that: They don’t exist. There really aren’t any smart guns out there available for purchase. Gov. Murphy may as well have required that gun stores always have a winged unicorn available for sale in order to stay open. Click here to learn more…but be sure to hold your breath.

3. No, no, I didn’t just “gamble and lose,” there must be a sewer grate close by!

That brings us to Kansas City’s Sandy Skaggs, who isn’t a politician…just a regular lady who likes to see her name in print, and who doesn’t really think things through very hard. You see, Skaggs has a friend who asked her to store his AR-15 in her house for him. She agreed to do it, but over time she must have grown as impatient with the AR’s presence as a person with a tummyache looking for a quiet corner to go release some pressure. In the wake of last weekend’s mass shootings, Skaggs decided to buy the gun from her friend for the sole purpose of then destroying it. Then, of course, she contacted the news to let them know, because clearly her virtue needed a signal boost. Here’s the thing…I’m not going to tell Skaggs and people like her to cut it out. It’s a free country, and they’re more than welcome to buy as many guns as they want for the purpose of destroying them. I will, however, recommend that if anyone else wants to destroy their gun, all they have to do is contact me. I’ll be more than happy to send small lead projectiles down that gun’s barrel until it’s just plumb worn out. Click here to laugh at Skagg’s “laundry mishap.”

 

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