David Hogg may hate guns, but he loves the taste of pillows!
David “Attention” Hogg would like your pity, and your money. Since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, there really haven’t been any mass shootings for him to capitalize on. So what does a good anti-gunner do when he can’t get the bloody headlines he wants, and when 21 million new guns were just sold? Why, get into the illegal suppressor business, of course…and by that, we mean “Good Pillow,” Hogg’s new pillow company. He’s been chewing over pillows as the best way to muffle gunfire–as well as the occasional grunt–while hopefully making enough dough to pay his private armed security.
Why pillows? Groveled the Washington Post: For one, Sunday marks three years since the shooting that left 17 dead at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. Hogg and LeGate said in their statement that they plan to “put our heads down” for a “blackout period” out of respect for victims of the school shooting.
Of course, even WaPo’s fawning, obsequious coverage couldn’t omit the fact that their prize piggie is actually just angry that a Trump supporter has made millions of dollars with his own pillow company, My Pillow, and would like to make his own millions. (Preferably without having to come up with any ideas of his own or do any work besides “field testing” the product for comfort and chewiness.) But has Hogg considered that there are millions of people who simply can’t be trusted to use his pillows responsibly?
Fact is, David Hogg must be aware that “Good Pillow” is an illegal suppressor business. Suppressors are covered by the 1934 National Firearms Act, and in order to own one legally you need to go through a variety of background checks, get permission from the ATF, and pay a $200 tax stamp. David Hogg’s Good Pillow company is a shocking loophole in the laws…one we must close immediately! Here’s why: Not only can you use a pillow to make a gunshot a little bit quieter, you can also use one to smother someone in their sleep.
Shockingly, there is no government oversight on who can make a pillow, and even less on who can buy one. It’s an outrage! Even terrorists and criminals can buy one, cash on the barrelhead, no questions asked. Even more terrifyingly, Hogg intends to market his assault pillows on the Internet. That’s right; no background check required, and your illegal suppressor shows up on your doorstep in two days (if you have Prime).
Furthermore, David Hogg’s “Good Pillow” design will be available online. Imagine that: Literally anyone will be able to download the design specs and make an illegal suppressor of their own. Up until now, you see, only very special government-anointed pillow designers were allowed to experience the mystery, the wonder, and the incredible complexity of a full-auto suppressor pillow. Now, thanks to David Hogg and his illegal suppressor business, America is about to be flooded with untraceable “ghost pillows.”
What David Hogg needs to understand is this: The Sleepy Amendment was written back in the day when you just folded up your jacket the ol-fashion way and rested your head on that. If it was good enough for your great-great-great-grandpa, it’s good enough for you. The Napping Fathers never could have envisioned a day when women would cover their entire bed in decorative illegal suppressor devices, instead of just using one, which is all you need.
When it comes right down to it, David Hogg’s illegal suppressor business Good Pillow is basically nothing more than murder, filled with a hypoallergenic down alternative and covered in 400-threadcount long-staple cotton. We can all expect a significant uptick in drive-by smotherings in 2021 thanks to Hogg…and his Slaughter Pillows of Death.
What knee-jerk legislation should we all demand right now, to shut down this monstrous incursion into our peace, safety, and Sunday naps? Tell us in the comments!
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.
Scott P says
Confident he got idea while face down biting one. Only kidding, this guys a pro, doesn’t need to bight down on anything while Biden gives it nice to him.
Robert Martin says
Well just have to wait and see how many he sells. Amazon prime will probably wish they didn’t put his crap on their site but who knows prime is stupid anyway.
Cum N takem says
Reading this article and the comments face a good laugh to start my day, thank you all. Even tho it’s seriously sad so many people just buy into what they are fed by the mainstream. I guess you can’t fix stupid…….
Larry! says
Snow flake sobbing pillow company
Tim Toroian says
IPO? Has the SEC or somebody gone NUTZ?!
Robert Banks says
His pillows must be waterproof with all the liberal tears being rained on it.
Paul says
Will there be a red flag law or background check for sleep apnea and snorers?
Johnny Diamond says
David Hogg is a loser. I doubt his PC pillow company will even put a dent in my pillow. I am sure 2-3 years from now when the money dries up he will quietly shutter the business and the media will spin it as him not so much going bankrupt but focusing on other pursuits.
JD Farmer says
Remember at the time of his announcement on a record search no one had filed any patent, trademark or registered GoodPillow as a company name. I would be totally surprised if someone hasn’t already filed for a trademark on GoodPillow, Goodpillow, Good Pillow or other variants so the minute he makes his first sale under that name he is sued for trademark infringement.
Dan says
I hope he infringes on maybe a “My Pillow” patent and has to pay Mike Lindell royalties for his “Good Pillow”.
Bruce C Baker says
Hogg swallows jizz. Hogg owns a “mypillow” and uses it to clean-up after a round of circle jerk where he is pivot man
David in MA says
He needs a condom streached over his head so he cannot impregnate others with his stupidity.
Dave says
Just a plastic bag, tied at the neck, with him strapped in a chair will do. A condom over the head is a nice idea…I mean…he ‘is’ a DH.
Boog Powell says
Great sarcastic article.
The scary thing is that Hogg’s Goodpillow Organic Suppressors are single-use and can be produced in a biodegradable version. In this throw-it-away society, his LGBTQ compliant company will be selling tens of millions of these to the DNC for their Trump Supporter re-education camps. They’re available in “Rainbow”.
Duke says
UH?
Mr. gun says
David Hogg his name speaks for it self!! I have nothing against sexual preference actually that’s not true I do have a problem with a boy that likes having sex with animals!!! I have a problem with that!!!! Only because it’s animal abuse! Leave the hogg’s alone david not cool!!
John J says
Stop publicizing the follies of this moron
Doc says
Indeed. Any press is good press to an attention-hound. Let them fade away.
Jax says
We have a beautiful water hazard on our course that very much suits Hoggs’ personality and I guarantee no one will give him a second thought. He can remain there for an eternity.
Tim Toroian says
A nice financial failure should do him good.
Doug says
I am willing to bet he is not risking a cent of his OWN money on this “business”, so he has nothing to lose. And I just became a big supporter for “My Pillow” since Hogg is so against it. I would like a list of all the companies Hogg is against so I know who to help support.
ICE says
David Hoggy is one of these people who has the irrational idea that if left unattended on a table loaded it will get up and go out and fire it’s self then return to the table !
Jim says
It can definitely be said that he’s eaten a pillow or two. Probably spends most of his days munching on them, maybe he should come out with flavors, bet the alphabet crew would love them.
Richard Tando says
You forgot about the Home and Garden Show loophole.
Thomas Kinderknecht says
Good old “Camera” Hogg….at it again.
He should call his “business”: Recycled Irrelevance, LLC (Little Liar Company)
Neighbor hood says
I was in Florida at the time of the shooting,We live a few miles away.The shooting was a horrible incident,never should have happened.The FBI had previously warned the authorities and they didn’t listen. David Hogg was not even there at the time ,in the newspaper an article said he road his bicycle a few miles to the school after hearing of the incident.He was not a student at the time . A complete Fraud or front man for anti gunners 🤷♂️🤦♂️
Robert Homiski says
He needs a rubber room not a pillow.
Bruce C Baker says
He plays with “my little pony peters!” And loves them too!😂🤣😂🤣😫😫😫
David Hogg is a whiny little bitch that has no idea aboitgetting shot
crazy gunsmith says
if this was an attempt at humor, dont quit your day job!
the onion wouldnt even think was worth the ink to print on the back page
its ok to to dislike the young mans views on firearms. i dont like them either. he does have the right to his views that were shaped by what he was exposed to by a crazed gunman as a teenager.
i would never want my child to go through what he and his classmates did on that day.
you can dislike his views but his actions are understandable.
Adrock520 says
It’s a joke, not a penis! Don’t take it so hard! 😂🤣😂
Jack hammer says
No his actions were and are not “understandable”.. They are the actions of an ignorant fool, who desires to remain ignorant, and like all leftists full of cognitive dissonance and hypocrisy… If anyone should keep their day job, it’s you… Your poor attempt at justifying the actions of a fool, just shows yourself to be one.
john says
ok, sure, jack(off), tough guy talk when you haven’t been in his shoes. Love it.
LocalHero says
He didn’t see anything that day. It was just another media and police-staged “mass shooting.” They do it all the time and, somehow, without any evidence, gullible people like you fall for it. Heil Hogg wasn’t even a legitimate student at that school. He graduated years earlier in California and was planted there by the FBI to be their point man for the staged event. He’s a fraud.
Joy says
AH !!! someone who KNOWS the facts & isn’t scared to state them !!! did you see the video that I saw ??? it showed two ”sad” fathers standing behind a wall out of sight of the reporters who were gathered to listen to them ”cry” about their poor d**d kids !!!! but one reporter with a camera just happened to get far enough down the line of reporters in time to video those poor tormented parents to film them laughing & yukking it up, until a guy walked up to them, said something, ( ”it’s time” ) and they pulled themselves together, swallowed a few times to stop the mirth on their faces & try to squeeze out some ”tears”, then went outside to face the reporters !!! they both had photos of their ”d**d kids” in their hands !!! they did a great job !!! I only saw that video one time … I think that they played it by MISTAKE that one time, then it was quick edited out of the video when they they showed it the next time !!!! also, someone who was on vacation in Indonesia was taking photos and when they developed those photos, they recognized one of the kids who had been ”killed” that day !!!! I saw the two photos side-by-side for comparison, and it for SURE was one of the boys supposedly killed that day !!! and oh bambam was ”president” at that time …. he lived a large portion of his life in Indonesia ….. coincidence that that kid was photographed there ??? have you ever seen photos of various ”shootings” and seen the same people in them, over & over ??? those are their ”false-flag victims” that get used all the time !!! sometimes they don’t even change their hair color or their glasses, but get videoed over & over about the horror they’d just gone through !!!! I believe they call them ”crisis actors” or something like that !!!! so stay intelligent & do not let anyone tell you you are wrong, for you are NOT WRONG !!!! and little hoggy boy wasn’t even IN SCHOOL at that time, he’d graduated from a school in CA, and was near that school when it was ”shot up” and got front & center the minute he got there from his home nearby !!! I wonder if he didn’t manage his time well enough to get there in time to look as if he’d been IN the school !
doug says
tionfoil hatters represent! it’s great knowing the lowest of low IQ also arm themselves.
Wyatt Earp says
DON’T comment on something you don’t know what happened! At the time of the SHOOTING at the florida high school. David Hogg’s was 22 years old! He never attended that school! Graduation from a high school in california five years early!
Big Al 45 says
So, you are saying that you go along with and understand that Hogg wants to put a U.S. citizen/businessman OUT OF BUSINESS because Hogg disagrees with that man’s Political views?????
My Pillow is an employer, so YOU have NO PROBLEM with those people losing their jobs because of David Hogg????????
That IS what we are talking about here, a furthering of the ‘Cancel Culture’.
You DO understand that, don’t you???
Hogg doesn’t care about anything other than HIS future and banning guns, plain and simple, and YOU are sympathizing with THAT form of Cancel Culture.
orion says
hogg wasn’t even enrolled in the school, or there when the shooting took place. He never attended the school, though lived nearby, so when he heard about the shooting, went there to observe and put his two cents in as a 22 year old ‘student’. He has a political future in his sights, and has jumped on the anti 2A bandwagon. No recent ‘mass shootings’ … needing a headline … might as well attack a Visible Trump supporter such as Mike Lindell …. in honor of hogg, I bought a couple more My Pillows.
Bruce C Baker says
Hogg sucks bananas for practice. ⁹
JonsOn says
Actually it was pretty funny. What is it with the democrat party? Don’t they have a single original thought? Stealing Mike Lindell’s ideas will not make the hog a millionaire. It should be illegal to sell, possess or transfer his pillows to any person without the express consent of the U.S, Government while My Pillows and firearm suppressors should be available freely with no tax stamp required.
Earl T Bass says
Be ready for a false flag soon. They now brazenly admit to stealing the election. God only knows what’s next.
George "BUFFALO" Kehl says
EARL, THESE DEMONRAT POS already are planning to steal the next election, and tat’s according to TIME MAGAZINE. I just read an article on another site about 5 minutes ago and TIME MAGAZINE stated it loud and clear of how these DEMONRAT POS are preparing to steal the elections in the near and present future.
durabo says
David “Camera” Hogg should mate with Greta “How Dare You?” Thunberg. Imagine the spoiled, neurotic. sniveling trolls they could produce!
Deplorable Sam says
Might have to schedule a vet visit for artificial insemination.