I give gun-grabbers a lot of grief, but the truth is that I’m looking out for their best interests!
Over the past few decades, I’ve noticed a trend among anti-gunners, and I bet you have too: After creating their perfect gun-free paradise in their home state, they begin casting their gun-grabbing gaze at neighboring states. You see, the perfect gun-free paradises they’ve demanded of their legislators also tend to have very high taxes and remarkably high crime rates (despite being perfect gun-free paradises, which is unpossible so let’s forget about that). Once they’ve migrated to that neighboring state, they then look around and decide that they really don’t like all of this “country” in their “country.” Naturally, that leaves them nothing to do but vote in some anti-gunners to create a new gun-free paradise.
What these anti-gunners don’t know is that the 2A-friendly state next to the gun-free paradise (that they’ve inexplicably gotten sick of) is actually a terrifying hellscape that they should do everything in their power to avoid. That’s why, today, as a public service to the anti-gunners of America, I’m listing three places they shouldn’t even think about moving to.
Nevada
Now that Californians have colonized Arizona’s larger cities, they’re reversing the Great Western Expansion by looking east to Nevada. With its lower taxes and cost of living, they may think that Nevada would be a good place to make their new home, but they’d be very, very wrong. Not only is Nevada rife with people who think it’s okay to openly carry those terrifying, murderous firearms, it’s also completely infested with Murder Crabs. Their primary diet is the type of small dog that fits easily in a Louis Vuitton purse, and they’re known to create their nests in Priuses that have been parked overnight. Just think of it, anti-gun Californians: There you are, doing 10 mph below the speed limit in the left lane, when suddenly you hear a noise from your trunk. Before you can even react, there they are…Murder Crabs in your passenger seat.
Best avoid Nevada, methinks!
West Virginia
The East Coast isn’t without its adventurous anti-gun pioneers, either. The state of Virginia, once a generally pro-2A state, has recently been consumed by gun-grabbers migrating out from the District of Columbia into Northern Virginia. The population density of Northern Virginia means that the whole state is in the process of becoming the anti-gun paradise that its recent colonizers dream of. But of course the grass is always greener on the other side of the state line, and some DC-ites are wondering if West Virginia might be their next gun-free paradise.
What they don’t know is that the movie Deliverance wasn’t fiction, and it wasn’t about Georgia. It was a documentary about West Virginia, which is 100 percent populated by scary Bubbas who think you shore do have a purty mouth. Additionally, did you know that those aren’t coal mines? Those are actually the homes of West Virginia’s Morlocks. They emerge from their chthonic lairs every 6.66 days to devour the flesh of Hillary voters. True story. Best avoid it, anti-gunners!
Texas
For decades, anti-gunners have eschewed Texas as a destination because it’s well-known for its indigenous population of Brush-Cutting Demons. But time wounds all heels, and therefore some gun-grabbers have begun to wonder if Texas is the next best place to set up shop. That’s a terrible idea, though, because in addition to the Brush-Cutting Demons, Texas is absolutely infested with zombies. They’re not the slow shuffling Walking Dead kind of zombies, either–these are Fast Zombies like the ones in 28 Days Later. In addition to that speed, Texas zombies are equipped with double-barrel, fully automatic, 100-round-clips of Assault Opinions. Imagine it, anti-gunners: There you are, just trying to get your neighbor arrested for letting their kid own a toy gun, and the next thing you know you have a Texas Assault Zombie micro-aggressing at you.
This has been a public service announcement for the anti-gunners of America…but I’m sure I’ve missed some other spots that they should avoid. Please tell us in the comments about any other haunted wastelands of doom that anti-gunners shouldn’t even think of moving to!
Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.
Kickaha13 says
We’ve got some time here in the Plains. We love our hunting and the fact that we don’t have overpriced, liberal coffee shops every 2 blocks. We get our coffee down at the diner. It comes black in the pot brought round by the waitress, you add your own cream and sugar if you want. We are an unknown territory for those gun grabbers from the east and west coasts. All they know about us is the is a lot of nothing (no cities or 8 lane highways) that they see from the windows of their airplanes.
Greg says
Living in upstate ny,I don’t know how it’s not #2 on the list,being destroyed by govenour/tyrant Cuomo,and his “safe act” nonsense.Essentially banning everything that was legal and forcing everyone to register anything remotely scary looking.Of course about 98% of net Yorkers did not comply.But it’s prison time if you didnt register.Prison for any mag more than 10 rounds.Prison for having a compensator/muzzle brake not to mention flash hider even a threaded barrel in any semi auto.
Prison time for any pistol grip on anything with a detachable mag.N.Y. should be the last place for anyone to ever move to.Im heading to South Carolina as soon as I can.Cuomo is a traitor to the Constitution and no one voted on this.It got passed around midnight with no voters being notified of it’s introduction.Worst state there is,taxes,rent,fees,covid virus b.s.And in his words “America was never that great” and “there’s no place in n.y. for conservatives and gun owners” not to mention his ridiculous comment,” no one needs thirty rounds to kill a deer”.Most corrupt b.s. state in the nation.Even his evil powers include upstate and the Adirondacks.Avoid n.y. as it is the plauge, literally.
AmericanIcon says
If you’re going to write a ‘gun’ article, you’d do well to do your homework. The state that was recognized by Guns&Ammo magazine for SEVEN CONSECUTIVE YEARS isn’t one of your ‘3 places for gun grabbers to avoid’? You pick Nevada, where Bloomburg bought half the state, and Texas, where you still need to beg governmental permission (and pay them a bribe) before you can exercise a Constitutionally guaranteed right? And yo expect to be taken seriously?
Ronnie Sherwood says
Unfortunately, Nevada is in serious danger. The Kalifornikans figured out they could move to Las Vegas, and build their left-wing liberal power-base there. Southern Nevada pretty much runs the whole stae now, with a spineless dictator wanna-be as governor, an AG who claimed he didn’t even know what larceny is, and a demoncrat majority in the legislature. We are hoping that more conservative Nevadans will become active and turn these socialist criminals out adter the oppression we have all endured during this “lockdown” malarkey!
JonsOn says
Having moved from the communist state of Commiefornia to Arizona I vote only for pro-gun candidates. It appears that my neighbors all feel the same way. Most of them are from Commiefornia. The guns laws here are the best in the union. Several cities have tried to enact anti-gun laws but were beaten back as Arizona enacted a law forbidding any city or county from enacting laws that go against state law. Now we need a law that if you come here from a screwed up state and vote for anti-gunners you are automatically ejected back to the craphole from which you came.
Darcy says
don’t want to move to Idaho either…here we have grabgoids…They feast at any time of day on liberals, leftists, socialist and commies…also love to dine on vegans and skinny jeans….better stay safe and stay in your own state and leave Idaho off your list of destinations..
Jaybo1 says
The CALLYfornicates can have my guns…all they have to do is come and take them from me…oh , and a message to them when they try : Bring your own body bags , I don’t furnish them…..I’m a proud Texan…
DAV says
CallousForlornYa !
K. T. Locke says
One of my personal motto’s is “Better a Morlock than an Eloi”……
Bob Noble says
Be warned also about the state of Alabama, home not only to MANY fervent 2A supporters but also to the dreaded Rattle-headed Cotton Moccasin. This extremely venomous reptile is reportedly attracted to the sound of the human voice, especially when hearing “woke” social justice pronouncements. For the love of God (quaint and enlightened as that belief might be), protect yourself and stay out of Alabama.
Capn Jack says
Do Grammar Nazi’s carry anything more lethal than a dictionary?
BTG says
Idaho has been left out too. We love our guns and will fight to keep them. Liberals are mentally ill.
Michael says
They’ve already been invading Texas for years, having turned their own state into a hell-hole. Many of the border towns, Austin, Houston, Dallas/Ft. Worth, San Antonio, and on and on. Leftist ideology spreads like a cancer, but smells like a fungus. Weird. As for states for the gun-haters to avoid, put Kansas at the top of your list. Crabs, Morlocks, and zombie micro-aggressions are nothing compared to the horror that is Kansas. Aside from being right smack in the middle of the Flyover States, aside from being overrun with Deplorables and military veterans, this Constitutional Carry state will almost certainly be the last of the 50 states to legalize marijuana… if we EVER do! That ought to be enough to make any leftist snowflake wet their Speedos and schedule a few sessions with their therapist. Better they just stop at Colorado and preserve their delicate minds.
Kevin McCarthy says
You missed Alaska. There was a time when a hiker could actually get a summons for not carry a firearm when off the pavement in Kodiak back in the early 70’s.. Although Alaska State Troopers and Wildlife Protection officers no long do this – it has resulted in an increase of missing tourists. Usually found with a bear sitting on their half eaten carcass. In Alaska it is perfectly legal to hunt small and big game animals with a suppressor. Machine guns can be owned. Lots of towns have free to use municipal rifle and pistol ranges – no BS about joining a club, paying dues etc just to have a place to shoot. (I grew up in Mass). No concealed carry pistol permits for Alaskan residents over 21 and we have reciprocity with 32 other states who’s concealed permits are welcome here. I got pulled over by a trooper a few months back and immediately let him know i was carrying a concealed firearm – he thanks me for carrying concealed, tells me he wishes more people did – hands me back my license and no ticket or warning for the red light I confessed to messing up. I drive off. Now – you tell me how that would have ended if I had been in New York, New Jersey, Mass, Conn or California……..
Ed says
How do you know when your in bear country? You can find bear scat that smells like bear spray and litered with bear bells from their hiking staffs.
Thom says
Yep, I can attest to the gun friendliness of Alaska. I got pulled over on my bike for doing 81 in a 65. Asked why I was going so fast I shared I was trying to beat the rain storm coming and that I was also carrying concealed. He let me go just before the rain started. I would’ve made it otherwise.
Jonathan says
Hark and heed the warning residents of the states mentioned above. Alas, I live in the state of Virginia. Very aggravated by the fervent anti-gun activity in my state. I’m moving back to North Carolina. I’ll be working to stem the tide and keep the anti-gunners from invading NC.
melbakid says
I once lived in the socialistic state of Kalifornika, not by choice! My father was in the military and that socialistic state was his last duty station before he retired. Once I was able, I moved to Idaho! Land of the free, home of God fearing gun lovers! Hell, rotate the state 90 degrees clockwise and it even looks like a gun! Idaho has even enacted a no permit needed concealed carry law in addition to open carry! So libtards stay the hell out of Idaho, we don’t want your stupid ideas here. How well did it work in Kalifornika? Not so well, huh?
James Andrews says
They should stay the hell out of Maine as well…….tons of gun owners and hunters up here, and our bears carry as well!
Rick says
Well, the bears do have the Right to bear arms… 😉
Mort says
Anti-Gun liberals have overtaken Savannah and Atlanta here in Georgia and thank God that we FREE Georgians never vote D or else we would lose our rights and low cost of living in a blink…
I own over 25+ guns,, and here in GA we call that a ‘Starters Kit’…..
john says
Un fortunately these people will never see your article or enjoy the humor. If all of us could take one of these scared and unfamiliar anti-gun people to a range or even a safe place in the woods, where there is a propper backstop and teach them to shoot .22. Even shooting a soda can and watch it dance when hit is fun. Many of these folks are scared and have never shot anything. A good safety lesson and an hour with a .22 would do a lot to alleviate their fears. In many people what they don’t understand scares them. Armed protesters at the state house scares the hell out of them, and it doesn’t help our cause either.
Live free or die says
You did notice they did not get beat on by any black masked outlaws, though right?
Jimbob American says
I’m surprised you left Ky out. We will rid ourselves of this liberal comrade governor in due time and the anti gunners should know we have dangerous snakes of many types that can strike future than the length of a hoe handle and three months out of the year they lay around your yard and driveways in the night. Lord forbid they step on one.
Jimbob
Don Cole says
Calling ALL like minded 2A’ers!!!!
Arizona is not on the list? We have been fighting on the front lines of this very battle since 2008.
poggy says
censorship site?
Where did my civil posting go, it was not offensive or derogatory.
poggy says
aaaah! now I see it!
Trace Munson says
Your comment was fine! Sometimes the approval process is wonky.
poggy says
If the people in Chicago, NYC & CA would stop and think
(what am I hoping for here)
they just might find their anti-gun laws are the cause of
almost all of their lawlessness problems.
Cv-66RoofRat says
It’ll never happen. Anti-gunners wear blinders that only allow a pencil lead sized vision of their idea of a liberal utopia. They are incapable of seeing anything else.
Mr Bagworm says
Unfortunately very true. Having lived in Illinois my whole life and having seen at least 4 governors go to prison (Chicago area…go figure….) I can see why the Chicagoites (rhymes with parasites) don’t like firearms. but once you get out of the commie north east corner of the state there are an awful lot of us that appreciate the Second Amendment and take it seriously.
Dave Parta says
Where is John Galt?
John Gillette says
In Galts Gulch where I long to be.!!!!!!
Bemused Berserker says
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Beartoe says
You forgot the Coastal Plains in southeast Texas where gator slides abound. A perfect high speed runway for dispatching unwanted flotsam and jetsam – libtards like Beato and other like minded excrement espousing gun haters into the bayou of our choice. If the gators don’t get ya the crabs will with no one the wiser
Connor says
I’m surprised Kennesaw, Georgia wasn’t listed (or Georgia/Alabama in general). And now that Bloomberg has his eye on Texas… Yes, he only has one eye. I’ve never seen him and Sauron in the same room, so I can only assume…
vab says
We got Langoliers here in WI. Giant pac-men with rows of razor-sharp saw-tooth teeth that shred those who are too lazy to think for themselves and believe everything their liberal/commie politicians tell them. They have a special terror-inducing pheromone that causes the mentally lazy to scamper in a panic. Fun to watch the libtards run like rabbits across a pasture! Sadly, the cows aren’t too amused tho, but you can’t please everyone.
Izzy Sizzlechest says
They should know that Wyoming is FULL OF BEES. Just bees everywhere. Mean bees with huge stingers. Stay away!
Eric says
These gun- grabber should just stay home! No sense in trying to push their evil idea on other. That want a taste of their evil idea? Just post on Facebook and Twitter that their state is a gun free ZONE. Why do you think most illegal immigration who are criminal come to your state? It because you are a sitting duck in the pond! They can rob you, rape you, kill you easy! Another thing you can move out of AMERICA! The whole Europe is a gun free zone! Go get your first hand experience what happened to the women in Germany, France by Syrian IMMIGRATION who move into the country. Put up your GUNS FREE ZONE SIGN IN YOUR YARDS! THEN IT SHOW TIME SOON!
Cv-66RoofRat says
Don’t forget that both Australia and New Zealand are gun-free zones now.
Phil in TX says
You missed Oklahoma. A lot like Texas, just a bit further north.
Phil in TX
randy bauer says
I was amused by this article, but let’s be frank: the folks of those benighted states just don’t want the Kalifornian idea of ” freedom”. If someone tried to take the rifles from my West Virginia relatives, they would find out what the coal mines are really for. They make great places to get rid of stuff one doesn’t like, such as Kalifornians who want to take their guns. So go home, Kalifornians. Take your fool ideas with you and don’t trouble the rest of the country with them. They don’t work in your state and won’t work here.
jrkmt1 says
You should check out the crevasses in the glacier at Glacier National Park. They are pretty deep.
Cv-66RoofRat says
Kalifornians won’t move to West “By God” Virginia. It too close to the Right Coast. The problem will be those ex-DCer Northern Virginia Faifax Countians trying to move more towards the left-most coast of this country, at least physically (as we all know, West Virginia is as far to the right as one can be. Thanks to those deep,, dark coal mines that terrify those libs with the oversized left wings!).
Hoggie says
Georgia has hogzilla who enjoys meals of libercrates. They are high speed and conceal carry .50 cal BMG. Their sense of smell is more powerful than a shark smelling blood in the water. Your vehicle is no protection. Hogzilla will flip it and demolish it to get that liberal meal. Know to pace along side the vehicle and smile at you before tearing your car apart.
Bill Braniff says
You forgot Maine. Strong strong strong 2 A here now and forever.4
Tom says
You anti gunners might as well come to Virginia. It is fast becoming the most communist of all the United States. We don’t yet have the massive debt of the other communist states but we’re relatively new at this, having only been communist for less than a year.
Dan Liehr says
Too funny. I will use that saying “Time wounds all heels.”
Linton Emerson says
Loved it, but the word is spelled “chtonic”.
Anti-gunners should avoid North Carolina as well. The Charlotte Horrnets here are not the simple murder hornets in the news nowadays; our hornets hide in the woods and shoot home-loaded ammo. The anti-gunners will ruin their Ferragamo shoes and sandals if they try to become Tarheels, and they should figure out that our tobacco will poison them with cities named Raleigh, Winston and Salem. Finally, we have gun-running criminal syndicates everywhere with a notorious web in Charlotte!
Trace Munson says
Lol, thanks! I’ll fix it.
John Thisell says
Add Tennessee
Robert Mrak says
Instances of improper use of the English language.
PB- dave says
Grammar Nazi’s….. run for the hills ! Those folks just put me in a state of pisstivity…..
Cv-66RoofRat says
What do you expect? Every libs knows and thinks that all un-liberated right-wing states are populated with people named “Billy Bob”, “Billy Jean” or “Bobby Sue” and had never gone any further than the 4th grade.