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You are here: Home / Breaking News / Aww, How Sweet! Bloomberg Buys Florida For Biden’s Birthday

Aww, How Sweet! Bloomberg Buys Florida For Biden’s Birthday

September 22, 2020 By Trace Munson

Biden and Bloomie, sittin’ in a tree, B-A-N-N-I-N-G!

Biden and Bloomberg just love to swing…swing states, of course!

The 2020 presidential election may be fractious, but the true love between Mike Bloomberg and Joe Biden really ought to be an inspiration to us all in these trying times. We’ve recently learned that Bloomie is on the hunt for a gift for his best beloved, and it seems that diamonds just aren’t going to do the trick this time. Instead, in the grand tradition of spending $620 million to buy himself all 300 votes in American Samoa, billionaire Bloomberg is buying Biden a state. What state? Well, Florida, obviously!

Our friends at the Second Amendment Foundation are being far more circumspect about this big gift than I am. Says SAF’s Alan Gottlieb, “The alarming revelation that anti-gun-rights billionaire Michael Bloomberg plans to spend $100 million in Florida to guarantee that important swing state goes to Democrat Joe Biden is proof the former vice president is bought and paid for.”

Brace yourself, Biden!

But Will it Fit?

In addition to its theme parks, gorgeous weather, and alluring shape, Florida is a real prize for any candidate. Given that the Sunshine State was the deciding factor in the even more fractious 2000 presidential elections (remember that crap tornado?), Biden’s wanted to secure Florida under his belt for some time. Now, it appears that Bloomie’s going to be the one to ease it in.

Says Gottlieb, “Biden and Bloomberg are anti-gun elitists who have always enjoyed armed protection while dismissing the needs of average citizens to protect themselves and their families,” he stated. “Biden better get used to dancing on the ends of Bloomberg’s strings, because for this amount of money, the Delaware Democrat is going to be the Big Apple billionaire’s puppet. Biden plans to change the Bill of Rights, and Bloomberg plans to buy it.

“Joe Biden is a perennial gun prohibitionist, and Michael Bloomberg is opening his wallet to essentially buy the Sunshine State vote on Biden’s behalf,” continued Gottlieb. “It is clear to us the former New York mayor thinks the former vice president will do his bidding, otherwise he wouldn’t be making such an expensive investment.

The power behind (and under, and sometimes sideways) the throne

Of course, the Bloomie/Biden team (Bideberg? Bloomden?) is really a natural partnership founded in mutual attraction.

“During his 47 years on Capitol Hill and as Barack Obama’s vice president, Joe Biden has never met a gun restriction he hasn’t liked,” Gottlieb observed. “His promise to continue supporting Draconian gun control schemes should be ample payback to Bloomberg, who dislikes the idea of private gun ownership worse than Biden does.

“Considering Biden’s gun control agenda and his promise to pursue a restrictive gun grabbing crusade if he wins in November,” says Gottlieb, “there should be no doubt Joe is a 100 percent certified shill for Bloomberg and his gun prohibition lobbying groups, Everytown for Gun Safety and Moms Demand Action.”

“We plan to challenge in court all of their unconstitutional anti-gun schemes,” Gottlieb vowed.

But I, Trace Munson, have another idea. Why don’t we just start a rumor that Bloomie’s seeing Beto on the side?

Trace Munson

Trace, a proud Special Farces who goes commando, is dedicated to pubic service. Although he’s a legend among YouTube commenters, he actually began life as a humble dingleberry farmer. Now, no subject is too moist or sensitive for his incisive odor and scintillating lymph nodes.

Filed Under: 2A's Lighter Side, Breaking News Tagged With: $100 million, anti-gun, Everytown for Gun Safety, Florida, Joe Biden, Michael Bloomberg, Moms Demand Hot Action, presidential election 2020, SAF, Second Amendment Foundation, Trace Munson

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tim Toroian says

    September 22, 2020 at 2:35 pm

    I like the way the left starts an organization called End Citizens United and promotes a constitutional amendment to enforce it but hypocritically enlist the support of this putz and the ugly Hungarian Nazi.
    A Jew and Nazi in political collusion. Adolph would be proud

    • Ms. Pro 2nd says

      September 27, 2020 at 6:14 am

      Don’t sell Florida short we’re not going to roll over and just take it we’re not a blue state bloomies money can’t buy us. Certain areas of Florida may take the money but the majority of Florida won’t be bought. biden will not get Florida not with bloomies money or without bloomies money.

  2. CaptTurbo says

    September 22, 2020 at 12:21 pm

    Fun to watch that moron waste his money. Florida will not fall to the Marxists. This is MAGA country!

    • Bobo says

      September 25, 2020 at 3:53 am

      Except FL has a LOT of liberal transplants that just can’t stand Trump, so it’s not the given you seem to think it is.

      • Ms. Pro 2nd says

        September 27, 2020 at 6:19 am

        I beg to differ the liberal transients are just that, transients, they don’t have a say here in Florida. We will not fall and become blue, Florida has Miami. Miami alone will not tolerate Biden. Then you have those that don’t live in Palm Beach and all the other fancy areas we’re not going to go blue we won’t allow Florida to become blue you can take that to the bank.

  3. JonsOn says

    September 22, 2020 at 11:15 am

    Aren’t there campaign finance laws? Since when can one person dump millions into an election for one candidate? It (as usual) sounds illegal and unethical. If President Trump were to nominate the Cuban Barbara Lagoa it is possible that will tip Florida to Trump no matter how much Bloombutt dumps in to the state.

    • Marcus Aurelius Tarkus says

      September 22, 2020 at 1:39 pm

      “Laws? Laws? We don’t care ’bout no steenkeeng laws! We make de laws so dat we can break de laws.” (Michael Bloomberg et al.)

  4. Mike M says

    September 22, 2020 at 9:09 am

    Is it legal for Bloomfield to pay off felons fees to buy votes? How can we stop this madness?
    Get out and vote and register others to vote and encourage them to vote.

    • Bobo says

      September 25, 2020 at 3:54 am

      And isn’t it funny how the fines he’s paying off don’t also restore their rights to own firearms, just their right to vote….

  5. David Parker says

    September 22, 2020 at 9:07 am

    Attachment

    With record gun and ammo sales going on in our great country. I hope all these people stand up and protect our second amendment by supporting groups that do protect our second amendment. Which ever one they feel most comfortable with. I support the NRA. Some people may not like them, that’s fine. Find another group or foundation that does protect our second amendment rights and give them some support. If you don’t know any other groups get on the internet and do some research please! The firearms and ammo you have purchased were available to you because of people supporting groups to protect your right to own a firearm. So think hard about it and please do something. This election may be the most important election of your life!
    Thank You,
    David Parker
    Proud Patriot and second amendment supporter.

  6. David in MA says

    September 22, 2020 at 8:47 am

    I wonder what their cohesion is beyond gun control, maybe China?

  7. randy bauer says

    September 22, 2020 at 7:47 am

    When are we going to send the 2nd amendment ninjas to get these guys? I mean, surely we have some ninjas somewhere. If not, we need some. Fear is also a weapon.

    • DAV says

      September 23, 2020 at 4:40 am

      Randy Bauer: I agree. Where is (a) Charles Bronson or Dirty Harry when you need them ?

      • Bobo says

        September 25, 2020 at 3:56 am

        Bronson is dead, and “Harry” is old…..

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